Coffee Chat 14.0: When S.K. Met Lynda

ER: Today feels like a day for reminiscing, so I got out an old photo album and figured SK and I could look through it when she gets here. It'll be fun while we have our coffee. [Looks around, under tables, behind doors.] Assuming she's not already here, that is . . . 

SK: [Runs in and plops herself next to Lynda.] I love to reminisce!!! Oh, good morning and all that. Sorry I'm late this time; it was difficult to outrun that cop who wanted to stop me. I had to take the long route here. Can you believe it? Why would any cop want to stop me? Anyway, lemme see those pics. [Pulls album out of Lynda's hands.] Are you getting us coffee? I've already had three cups. Hey, wanna go for a run after we're done with these?


ER: You were chased by a cop? 

SK: Oh, you know . . . I saw some red boots and I thought of Live Bacon—isn't his name adorable?—and I figured he could use them. [Shrugs.]

ER: But what does that—never mind. I'm just glad you're here, safe and sound. And three cups of coffee? Did you run beside the car or actually sit in it? Maybe you should eat a bunch of carbs to slow you down a bit. [Plops down a plate with leftover lasagne.] Here, eat this. That'll have you sitting still for a while.

So, the photo album—

SK: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh . . . sure, yeah. You know what this makes me think of? When you and I first met.

ER: Exactly why I brought it out. Look at us! Weren't we cute? I think we were completely adorable. And look, even then, we were future coffee buddies.

                       

SK: The art of coffee drinking takes years of practice. Though, if I'd tried to drink the thing back then my parents would have probably rung my ears. We weren't allowed to try it until we were older. Anyway, yes, years later . . . I was approached by you via this magical world called "the Internet." Who knew we'd get along so perfectly? Well, actually, we hit it off immediately so I suppose we both kinda knew it was the start of awesomeness.

ER: When it clicks, it clicks. Really, though, I think our completely dissimilar upbringing, vastly different interests and skills, age gap and locations contributed to our instant connection. Opposites attract, right?

SK: Chemistry 101. So what if you're completely unlike me? We have the same twisted brain and if that's not destiny, I don't know what is.

I remember when you first followed me on Twitter and I read your bio; I immediately showed it to hubby. "Smile: it's the second-best thing you can do with your lips." What's not to like?

ER: Well, it IS. I can't argue with the facts. And you were a make-stuff-up-er. I couldn’t say no.

I knew we'd bonded when you told me I had twenty-four hours to edit your book and I still wanted to do it. Kind of like joining a sorority, only more pleasant, with nicer people.

SK: Well to be fair it was half a week, and I was giving you an out. My editor at the time took two weeks with the MS because of family issues and put a dent into our "proofreading" time. I was on a deadline for ARCs since I'd booked a review tour, AND my formatter was waiting. Boy, was I stressed! I'm glad you didn't take my cancelation talk, 'cause look at us now!

ER: I was determined to keep you. That's all there was to it. This was one time when my stalker tendencies paid off big time.

We're coming up on our anniversary, you know. We really should plan something fun. After all, we've had our fair share of adventures. And now I have a donkey in my yard to keep Live Bacon company! (Thanks, Lee!) You know what that means . . . do you think we can take a tour of a coffee plantation or something? We already have the donkey. That's like a free ticket to get in. Um, and you might need to ride in the burlap sack on the side—but only temporarily.

SK: Oh, umm, I think I'm banned from coffee plantation tours . . . I don't want to talk about it. But I'm pretty sure we can take the donkey with the burlap sack and ride through a wine tour. I'll bring an extra big bag for each of us and we can bring some empty screw-top wine bottles to sneak some wine home. You in or out?

ER: But you grew up in Venezuela. Surely there's a plantation you haven't been banned from—oh, forget it. I live in wine country, so a wine tour would be fabulous! There's nothing that says "quality wine" better than a screw-top bottle. We might even be able to leave the donkey at home that day. I haven’t seen many donkeys in the grape fields around me . . . one, to be exact.

SK: Speaking of me planning some more of my SK shenanigans, do you remember how long our first chat was? We must have come up with at least ten plans for our future adventures and laughed the whole time. I think my favorite yet is creating a blog in which our "old-lady selves," Adelaide McClingy and Mildred Loudermilk, offer horrendous romantic/life advice to our readers. I still think we should try it.

What about you? What's one of our favorite topics we discussed early on?

ER: Mildred and Adelaide are definitely contenders for our top ideas. I even think I have a picture of our future selves somewhere.

SK: I can't believe you shared this! How dare you reminisce into the future? Of course I'm not surprised you chose a picture where you look better than me. Pffft.

ER: I can’t help it. I’ve aged longer than you have, and I’ve gotten really good at it.

We've had so many plans to either get rich quick or to save the world that it's hard to keep track of all of them. I do have a faint memory of trying to convince someone that we needed a shot of a guy in a kilt (that we'd provide, of course) for a future book of yours, just so we could have a kilt-guy photo we took ourselves. And there's always our retirement plan of you writing really awful erotica—which, of course, I won't be able to edit—just to pay the bills.

SK: Yes, if all else fails I shall eroticize some words and sell it as comedy porn. Ha! Funny you should mention the kilt. Wait until you read Static; I did add a tiny kilt usage just for you, Lynda.

ER: Och!

As always:

You can find S.K. Anthony in a number of places. She's on Twitter @SKathAnthony, her website is www.skanthony.com, her Facebook page is S Katherine Anthony, and on occasional occasions, she'll be right here with me, drinking coffee and laughing it up over our latest plans and schemes. And possibly even talking about books and writing. 

You can find me here. I'm always here.